Dillon T. Pickle, world famous mascot of The Portland Pickles, has officially announced his candidacy for 2024 President of The United States! Dillon will be representing the “Green Party” in the 2024 race.
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dillons 10-point commitment plan
1. Freedom, equality & goodwill for all Pickles, humans, animals and even umpires.
2. “X” will now be referred to as “Twitter.”
3. Individuals previously deemed guilty of green charges (cannabis, money, tree crime, guacamole incidents, etc) to be pardoned and released.
4. Astros fans will pay an additional waste management tax of 6.9%.
5. All institutions to cancel student debt (except Florida State).
6. All citizens named “Dillon” get free upgrades on Alaska Airlines flights (no window seats).
7. Robux will replace the United States Dollar as the national currency.
8. Nationwide seventh-inning-stretch to take place at 4:20 PM on all weekdays.
9. “Big Farm-a” will no longer control our people.
10. Inflation will be eradicated.
Official Campaign VIDEO
OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN SONG: “Yes We Can (Dillon T. Pickle for President) by 전상규/Sangkyu Jeon/Q (@qjeon) May 23, 2020
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“THE GRIN WILL WIN”
OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN MERCHANDISE
Will ship in March
THE 2024 GREEN PARTY
Dillon’s Official Presidential Cabinet
Skipper
Official Statement: "What better way to spend my administrative leave from the Lake County Captains, than to run as VP with my good buddy, Dillon. Together will improve the current state of our country… starting with a comprehensive plan to reduce the cormorant population plaguing our Minor League Ballparks."
Skipper on why he chose to run: “I literally have nothing else going on in my life right now.”
Skipper on what qualifies him for the position: “I’ll be honest. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Skipper’s thoughts on pickle flavors: “Sweet Pickles are for @#&%~*”
SuperPepino
Official Statement: The official mascot of C.D. Leganés, SuperPepino, takes another step forward in his international career. Through his colleague Mr. Dillon, mascot of the Portland Pickles Baseball with whom he has maintained a close relationship since 2019, SuperPepino has received a proposal to join the Green Party of the United States and become part of Dillon's candidacy for the presidency of the country in the position of vice president.
Dillon and SuperPepino met more than four years ago, when the North American visited Butarque and was greeted by the Pepinero mascot. Since then, they have kept in touch despite the distance, and as a result, SuperPepino has accepted this proposal, with the indispensable condition of being able to combine his future vice-presidency with his duties as C.D. Leganés mascot.
The candidacy has already begun to work on the primaries, which began on January 15, in an electoral process that will culminate on November 5, the day on which the next president of the United States will be known. If Dillon is elected, SuperPepino will make history by becoming the first mascot vice-president of a country. Such a pride for the Pepinero family, best of luck!
Boogie
Official Statement: "Do you like disco? Dillon is pro disco. We’re pro Dillon. Mascot takeover, you say? We’re taking over the country."
Skills: colorful, sequin jacket owner, comfortable being national bird of India, possessor of cool merch, beats uwharrie wampus cats, great dancer, really a peacock
Gnarly
Official Statement: “soccer ball”
Skills: oversight of surfing, orange consumption, goalkeeping
Maynard G. Mallard
Official Statement: "Whose gonna carry the boats and logs? Dillon is gonna carry the boats, he is the real dill - you don't know me son"
Skills: people person/duck, throws fun parties for 6000+ people, cheese connoisseur, beats Kenosha kingfish, bodybuilder, poet, author, and director
Standford Tree
Official Statement: "It’s truly an honor to be chosen for Dillon’s presidency cabinet. As a fellow green being, I fully support Dillon's goal of bringing to life the Green Party so that together we may bring some of that green monster energy to the white house (perhaps by shotgunning some monsters in front of the white house??!!). As a member of this cabinet, I will bring chaos, fun, and lots of twirls. Along with snarky comments and the Twitter skills to bring down any hater.”
Upcoming Campaign Events
Upcoming Campaign Events
January 24 - LV STRIP
Las Vegas, NV | 7:00pm